A few things have come to my attention recently that have all led to a realization that maybe my being super busy and productive isn’t the best way to go about life. I’ve always had this feeling (and it’s gotten stronger the older I get) that you should jump into things you do with both feet, hard-charging and ready to kick it’s ass. And I really believe that life rule… but I think a teensy part that I may have overlooked is that being busy may just be an unhealthy mechanism we force upon ourselves.
A couple of Facebook friends posted a link to this NY Times article “The Busy Trap”. I read it all the way through, each paragraph increasingly describing me, my life. This quote kind of hit home for me:
“They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.”
And this one:
“Almost everyone I know is busy. They feel anxious and guilty when they aren’t either working or doing something to promote their work.”
Like a ton of bricks. REALIZATION! Hello! Doing all of these awesome things that I’m doing may NOT be better for me. Because really, life is so damn short, just so short. Yes, volunteering is good. And doing freelance work to bone up my experience and resume is good too. But I also work full-time, go to school half-time and try to fit in all the home/family/house stuff I can without freaking out.
Am I giving all I have to any one of these things? Is my stress taking a toll on our family life? I’m just thinking out loud here, but maybe these are questions you should ask yourself as well. How present are we? How able to really do ONE thing well are we?
I recently shut my Etsy shop down, maybe not forever but for a while, after years of halfheartedly managing my shop and attempting to sell things. Shutting down the shop felt SOOOOO good, freeing even. It’s not that I don’t LOVE to make and sell things, that’s not it. It’s just that I never really found my focus, I never was able to make any money (and in turn never felt good enough to do it) and I was guilt tripping myself about my inability to succeed. GUILT-TRIPPING myself. People, this is a common theme.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve slowly worked on an embroidery piece for my hubs’ and my house. It took forever and no one paid me to do it, but it was oh so gratifying. I ENJOYED it, and I didn’t have to worry about listing it, trying to sell it and shipping it. In fact, I loved making it just for us. So the point of this overly long and drawn out (I’m totally long-winded when I get to writing) post? I’m re-assessing. I’m QUITTING things, that’s right quitting. But in this case, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I’m gonna embrace it.